Heavy sigh.

It’s that time of year again. Every year I decide that this year is going to be different, this year I’m not going to get stressed or otherwise bummed out during the holiday season. For the record, I made it longer in 2008 than usual, which is great, but … it’s happening. I’m not particularly stressed, really - just generally tired of it all.

It seems totally backwards considering all of the glitter and bells and music and lights and sales and commercials and Christmas specials and all that I’d be grumpy, but I know I’m not alone. The Mayo Clinic even has tips on how to cope with holiday stress and depression, which I’ll list at the bottom of this post in case it helps someone, but honestly - I don’t think I’m depressed. I think I’m more disgusted.

And conflicted, really. I always look forward to the particular days that holidays fall on. I look forward to seeing family. I look forward to making a big feast and getting around the table with everyone.

I usually look forward to seeing bits and pieces of A Christmas Story over the course of 24 hours, but since we ditched cable, I’ll have to enjoy imagining those special scenes in my head (“Fra-jee-lay!”), and that’s fine really. I’ve only seen it about a gazillion times, don’t really need to see it again.

I enjoy seeing my kids enjoy their gifts, I find it mildly amusing to wonder if my 9-year-old still believes in Santa or if he’s trying to just play it safe for another year. I love looking at the lights, especially this year in the downtown area of our little town, which is all redone and beautiful.

But the consumerism - I just can’t take it. The Lexus commercials come to mind. The vast improvement of a Lexus over a Big Wheel (and seriously - Big Wheels were cool).  Or the other commercial showing how a Lexus is a better gift than a previous “best ever,” a pony that gave the woman in the commercial pleasure mostly because her childhood friend was green with envy when she saw it.

Other commercials show a department chain coming to the rescue to “save Christmas” with holiday savings so that you can be sure to decorate your home stylishly - otherwise your neighbors might think .. what? That you’re a loser? That you’re poor? That you hate Christmas?

And then there’s the whole “Christmas” debate in and of itself. Some people get terribly offended if you say “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas,” “Happy Hannukah,” “Happy Solstice” or “Happy Kwanzaa” - apparently you’re supposed to suss out everyone’s holiday celebration of choice before making any such pronouncements, lest you be labeled lazy or insensitive or, in the case of Christians in particular, are somehow involved in the “War on Christmas.” On the other hand, if you say “Merry Christmas” to someone who very much does not identify with Christmas, you’re being an aggressive Christian who has no respect for the diversity of the season.

Of course, let’s not leave out the economic doomsayers, always eager to tell us that if we don’t spend enough during this year’s shopping season, we’re just writing our own pink slips.

So what’s a girl to do? If it’s me, I’m just trying very hard to not identify with most of it. I enjoyed watching my Grinchster on Monday night, will look forward to our own roast beast getting carved in a few weeks, and will have a nice day playing with kids and grandparents. I’m going to keep tossing catalogs as soon as I receive them and continue to avoid malls, just like the rest of the year. I will ponder the many varied mythologies around the season and consider why these mid-winter celebrations are important to us as a species and try to be patient and understand that somehow, massive spending fits into that ritual for some people.

And maybe, just maybe, I’ll look over some of these suggestions from the Mayo Clinic …

1. Acknowledge your feelings. If a loved one has recently died or you aren’t able to be with your loved ones, realize that it’s normal to feel sadness or grief. It’s OK now and then to take time just to cry or express your feelings. You can’t force yourself to be happy just because it’s the holiday season.
2. Seek support. If you feel isolated or down, seek out family members and friends, or community, religious or social services. They can offer support and companionship. Consider volunteering at a community or religious function. Getting involved and helping others can lift your spirits and broaden your friendships. Also, enlist support for organizing holiday gatherings, as well as meal preparation and cleanup. You don’t have to go it alone. Don’t be a martyr.
3. Be realistic. As families change and grow, traditions and rituals often change as well. Hold on to those you can and want to. But accept that you may have to let go of others. For example, if your adult children and grandchildren can’t all gather at your house as usual, find new ways to celebrate together from afar, such as sharing pictures, e-mails or videotapes.
4. Set differences aside. Try to accept family members and friends as they are, even if they don’t live up to all your expectations. Practice forgiveness. Set aside grievances until a more appropriate time for discussion. With stress and activity levels high, the holidays might not be conducive to making quality time for relationships. And be understanding if others get upset or distressed when something goes awry. Chances are they’re feeling the effects of holiday stress and depression, too.
5. Stick to a budget. Before you go shopping, decide how much money you can afford to spend on gifts and other items. Then be sure to stick to your budget. If you don’t, you could feel anxious and tense for months afterward as you struggle to pay the bills. Don’t try to buy happiness with an avalanche of gifts. Donate to a charity in someone’s name, give homemade gifts or start a family gift exchange.
6. Plan ahead. Set aside specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends and other activities. Plan your menus and then make one big food-shopping trip. That’ll help prevent a last-minute scramble to buy forgotten ingredients — and you’ll have time to make another pie, if the first one’s a flop. Expect travel delays, especially if you’re flying.
7. Learn to say no. Believe it or not, people will understand if you can’t do certain projects or activities. If you say yes only to what you really want to do, you’ll avoid feeling resentful, bitter and overwhelmed. If it’s really not possible to say no when your boss asks you to work overtime, try to remove something else from your agenda to make up for the lost time.
8. Don’t abandon healthy habits. Don’t let the holidays become a dietary free-for-all. Some indulgence is OK, but overindulgence only adds to your stress and guilt. Have a healthy snack before holiday parties so that you don’t go overboard on sweets, cheese or drinks. Continue to get plenty of sleep and schedule time for physical activity.
9. Take a breather. Make some time for yourself. Spending just 15 minutes alone, without distractions, may refresh you enough to handle everything you need to do. Steal away to a quiet place, even if it’s to the bathroom for a few moments of solitude. Take a walk at night and stargaze. Listen to soothing music. Find something that reduces stress by clearing your mind, slowing your breathing and restoring inner calm.
10. Rethink resolutions. Resolutions can set you up for failure if they’re unrealistic. Don’t resolve to change your whole life to make up for past excess. Instead, try to return to basic, healthy lifestyle routines. Set smaller, more specific goals with a reasonable time frame. Choose only those resolutions that help you feel valuable and that provide more than only fleeting moments of happiness.
11. Forget about perfection. Holiday TV specials are filled with happy endings. But in real life, people don’t usually resolve problems within an hour or two. Something always comes up. You may get stuck late at the office and miss your daughter’s school play, your sister may dredge up an old argument, your partner may burn the cookies, and your mother may criticize how you’re raising the kids. All in the same day. Accept imperfections in yourself and in others.
12. Seek professional help if you need it. Despite your best efforts, you may find yourself feeling persistently sad or anxious, plagued by physical complaints, unable to sleep, irritable and hopeless, and unable to face routine chores. If these feelings last for several weeks, talk to your doctor or a mental health professional. You may have depression.

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